Almuhtada.org – Talking between men and women who are not mahrams is not prohibited. The only condition is that the conversation meets the conditions of Shara’. Conversation is permissible if it is not in khulwat, does not cause fitnah, the content of the conversation contains goodness, and still maintains the polite manners that apply.
At the time of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and his followers, there are many stories of the Prophet’s wives talking to the followers. For example, when giving an answer to a question about Islam. After the Prophet died, Aisyah radhiyallahu’anha or the Ummul Mukminin also became a teacher for the friends.
When it comes to conversations between men and women who are not muhrim, we can learn from the prophet’s wives. As Allah Ta’ala said:
يَٰنِسَآءَ ٱلنَّبِىِّ لَسْتُنَّ كَأَحَدٍ مِّنَ ٱلنِّسَآءِ ۚ إِنِ ٱتَّقَيْتُنَّ فَلَا تَخْضَعْنَ بِٱلْقَوْلِ فَيَطْمَعَ ٱلَّذِى فِى قَلْبِهِۦ مَرَضٌ وَقُلْنَ قَوْلًا مَّعْرُوفًا
Meaning:
“O wives of the Prophet, you are not like other women, if you are righteous. So do not be humble in your talk, so that those who are diseased in their hearts may desire it, and speak good words.” (QS Al-Ahzab: 32)
The verse explains about manners when talking to people of the opposite gender who are not muhrim. Whether in person, or via text or social media. To protect themselves from slander, women and men who dialogue or send messages with non-muhrim members of the opposite gender should be able to protect themselves.
There are Limits and Manners
In daily life, Muslim women are constantly interacting and communicating with non-mahram people of the opposite gender. When shopping, school, college, work and other activities.
Ustadzah Ummi Fairuz Ar-Rahbini explained, there are rules in muamalah between a man and a woman. According to Buya Yahya’s wife, in talking with the opposite gender, the point is not to feel comfortable, not to enjoy and be careful because the initial attraction is not easy.
“Usually it starts with casual chat, discussion of assignments and so on and then continues with jokes that make us more comfortable and happy to continue communication until finally it will lead to more privacy. This means that we should not feel safe and then say “no really, I can take care of myself, I can also take care of my heart, InshaAllah there is no problem. And feel confident that this does not affect us because in tempting humans, Satan has a thousand and one ways and the name of the opposite gender has an attraction such as positive and negative. So between the opposite sex there is an attraction and that cannot be denied, “she explained when filling in the Muslimah study on her Instagram page.
What about jokes or just joking with the opposite gender? Ummi Fairuz said, for the problem of jokes, the Prophet Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam once joked. “Maybe we have heard how the Prophet once joked with an old woman and she asked the Prophet whether she would enter Heaven. The Prophet replied, “There are no old women in Paradise.” And the Prophet did not lie because indeed in Heaven all old women will become young. The Prophet’s joke did not contain any element of lies nor was it hurtful. The Prophet’s joke was very honorable. Then what about our jokes? What we chat about, what we make jokes will all be taken into account in the hereafter.” She spoke.
If the joke is related to a conversation between people of the opposite gender, there must be an attraction. Ordinary chatter will be special if Satan has already mixed in it, so stay alert and do not let your guard down because Satan leads us directly but in a slow way. In the matter of speaking alone the Prophet once said:
مَنْ كَانَ يُؤْمِنُ بِاللہ وَ اليَوْمِ الأَخِرِ فَليَقُولْ خَيْراً أوْ لِيَصْمُوتِ
Meaning:
“Whoever believes in Allah and the Day of Judgment, speak well or be silent.”
The point is that in communicating with the opposite gender, there are manners that must be considered, especially by Muslim women, including:
- Not softening the voice
2. Not to be in close company
3. Speaking good words
4. Lowering the gaze
While in communicating with non-mahram members of the opposite sex through social media such as chatting, for example, conditions are used that can only be measured by oneself. Such as whether the language used is flirting or not, whether the content of the conversation is important or not, and so on.
Therefore, it takes the honesty of each person to measure it, and the level to which we feel watched over by Allah. The stronger one’s faith, the more afraid one will be to violate the things that Allah has restricted, and the stronger the sense of being watched over by Allah. Wallahu A’lam. [] Fahdina Dean
